Image source: www.optimisetravel.com

It has come to my attention that not everyone follows the same rules when it comes to travelling around London on Transport For London (TFL). I’m constantly asking myself the question, “Why do you not know you’re not meant to to do that in this very moment?”. As I’m yet to pass my driving test – I know, I need to get on it right – I travel on TFL pretty much every day, so I thought I’d create this travel etiquette guide for all of us travelling & using TFL. Now this isn’t to be taken too seriously, it’s all a bit of tongue and cheek, so what are your pet peeves when using TFL?

– When someone drops something on the floor and then you make said person aware of this as it may be important. The polite thing to do is to say thank you, no?

– When walking up the escalator everyone knows: If you’re walking up you go on the left, if you’re standing you go to the right. Doesn’t it annoy you when people who aren’t walking up go to the left & then create a pile up behind them?

– When walking as part of a crowd, please do not stop dead in the middle of your tracks. Stand to one side so the crowd can continue with their lives and not bump into you.

– If you must relieve yourself in the train lavatories make sure to close the door behind you, thereby not leaving those next to said toilet in fear of their life, wondering if they’ll ever breathe again #NoToniBraxton.

– Don’t you just find this kind of commuter annoying? Asking people to move down on a crowded train, where would you like me to move down to?  Or trying to get to the door on said train that hasn’t reached its stop/destination yet. Just wait!

– If you’re going to eat please don’t let it be food that smells. There is a guy who gets on the same 6:30am bus as me and he devours an egg Mcmuffin from McDonalds EVERYDAY! I kid you not, I always wonder how he can eat that early in the morning. I’m also praying for his arteries, heart and my nose.

– Another one about eating whilst in transit, if you are going to have a coffee and muffin for breakfast that’s on you, but please refrain from smacking your lips together – no one wants to hear you eating!

– Now this one isn’t a gripe, it’s more funny to me. If you know you’re prone to snore when you sleep don’t fall asleep on any of TfL’s services and have us all wondering what that bear like roar is. This happened once and everyone was wondering what the sound was until we all realised it was the one guy who was asleep.

– You’ve had a hard day at work but you’ve managed to the leave work early, say around 4pm…only to then be barraged by the sixth form/college conversations, “Nah, fam I banged her like twice and that’s it. Had to let her go innit”. What makes you think I want to hear that, trust me I don’t!

– When you wake up late and try to get to work ASAP but get to the train station and there’s a strike. This has actually happened to me, thanks to good ol’ Southern Rail. This was a fail on the most epic of proportions.

– This next one is going to be controversial, to say the least. Wheelchair and pushchairs users, we all know you have priority to that large open section on the bus, but there is no need to push your way through or be rude to someone who is standing in this section and may not of heard you. To be honest this goes for everyone, I don’t know what it is about 9am call times but people always seem to be in a mood, there is no need to be rude to people.

– You start running for a bus and the bus driver sees you and still decides to drive off. I was obviously running for no reason, right?

– You’re about to head out and it was raining a few hours before. You choose to be careful where you walk only to walk past a massive puddle and get showered by a car going past. Now this has never happened to me personally, but I have seen it happen to others loads of times. I can guarantee to you that if this were to ever happen, wherever I was be heading wouldn’t be reached as I’d go back home, put my pyjamas on and stay in bed. Dramatic I know, but someone has to be?

– After a long hard day you get on the chosen mode of transportation and someone proceeds to have an intimate conversation where you feel like you’re engrossed in it. This happened to me about a year ago, where one lady was talking to her dad about a recent cancer scare and how he should be taking it easy. I didn’t have any headphones so I couldn’t block her out, I just had to sit there listening to this incredibly intimate conversation being spoken about very loudly for all to hear. I felt so incredibly awkward!

– Imagine this, you’re running late for a meeting and decide to take the bus to the station as it’s sure to be quicker than walking 20 minutes. No, you’re wrong! You are now in gridlock traffic with no where to go or move. Note to self, you must wake up early.

– You’re on a packed out bus, which means you have to sit next to someone. As the bus starts to clear and get less packed is it not protocol to move to an empty seat, as soon as one becomes available near to you?

– This one is an annoyance for a lot of guys I know. Don’t be that woman who is putting on her makeup or doing her nails on well packed train, this can be seen to be uncouth.

– If you are an animal lover why is it so hard for you to understand or believe that I may not want your pet to lick my new Jimmy Choos. You and it have your space, I have mine and let’s keep it that way.

– When travelling with a large bag and/or suitcase please be sure to be mindful of those either side of you and behind you thus ensuring no ones foot is rolled over or banged in the head by said travelling equipment

There you have it, this is my list thus far but I’m sure I could have added some more. Are there any others that should have made it on to the list? Add your thoughts to the comment section below.

Until next time…

Dee.x