Today marks exactly 30 days till I celebrate my first wedding anniversary and to be honest, it doesn’t seem real that almost 365days have gone past.

I vividly remember the effort from not only D.P. (my husband) and I, but also all those around us like our bridesmaids, groomsmen, friends and family that worked tirelessly to make our day so special and it truly was!

I’ve heard it commonly said, that the first year of marriage can be incredibly hard and though this has some truth to it, I can honestly say that hasn’t been my overall experience. So seeing as there are 12 months in a year, I thought I’d share the twelve things that I’ve learnt in this past year about marriage.

Twelve things about marriage….

1. Continuous communication is vital: 

This had to be first on my list! I’m not sure about other couples, but learning how to communicate properly to each other was something D.P. and I had learn all over again, because of this new 24/7 dynamic to our relationship. Over the past 11 months I’ve learnt that I can’t always give just the headline version, it’s in the details that my most inner thoughts are really expressed and truly recognised and that is ultimately what D.P. wants to know.

2. It’s the little things:

Now this can be taken in two ways: it’s the little things that mean so much or it’s the little things that can have the biggest negative affect. You choose! Although D.P. doesn’t do this, I can imagine that if I found him leaving his socks on the bedroom floor continuously – this would be incredibly annoying! After a while it could start to have a negative effect on the relationship. Why not plant seeds of happiness – never leaving the house without a kiss – even if you’re angry with your partner?

3. Show love every day:

Something as simple as offering to make a cup of tea when your partner comes in can make such a difference to their day. Me, I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to be bombarded once I step into the house. So from before we got married D.P. knew, “Can you give me 15 mins to rest/collect my thoughts etc when I first walk in?”… It’s only 15 mins, but it makes the world of difference to me and as a result it changes how I will react to anything else that evening.

4. Everyone is excited about this new chapter of your life: 

I’ve often heard it said that when you marry someone, you not only marry them but also their family. If this statement is true, then having good relationships with your in-laws can have a major effect on your marriage. Fortunately I’ve got a great relationship with my in-laws independent of D.P. No Mother-in-law drama over here!

5. It’s no longer about you:

No matter what, you have to stop thinking about yourself and come to the understanding that what you say and do has an effect on the one you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with.

6. It’s a team effort:

This is pretty self-explanatory and feeds back into number five. Your “Me, me, me” vernacular has to become “We” and “Us”.

7. Money talks:

Everyone has their own thinking, feelings and experiences when it comes to money. When you get married these experiences can potentially influence what you do with your money. Are you the type to let it go once it’s in your hands or you could be the one who holds onto it so tightly it never has a chance to breathe? As a couple you will have to learn how you will discuss money and as a result what each of you will do with it.

8. Don’t stop living your life:

Although marriage makes two people become one, you shouldn’t lose what makes you unique. For example, I am a big foodie and traveler. D.P. is fully aware of random trips in the future, be it a day trip to Ireland or brunch in Shoreditch with the homies.

9. Not everyone will understand:

This may come across really holier than thou, however that’s not my intention! I have found that not everyone will be able to be empathetic to your new found family life. Everything I do, or don’t do, will have a direct effect on D.P., be it good or bad & those that are single sometimes have no concept of this as they aren’t married.

10. The importance of time together:

For D.P. and I this doesn’t always have to involve us going out somewhere. Some of my fondest moments over this past year involve just us talking over a cup of tea. Sidebar: We’re avid tea drinkers at the Powell residence!

11. Through everything, the good and the bad you must smile, laugh and have fun:

One of the things I absolutely love about D.P. and I, is how we can literally talk for hours. I remember one time, before we were even engaged, D.P. came to see me early morning, round 10am. I can promise you that we didn’t watch any of the DVDs or even turn on the TV till six hours later! To my surprise it didn’t even feel like it was six hours, but like they say, “Time flies when you’re having fun!”.

12. This last one is a little special as I asked D.P. to share one of the things he’s learnt whilst being married to me…. So one from the boys….Take a  trip down Memory Lane! 

There will be moments where present frustrations threaten to overwhelm your evening or even the following few days. Thus it is important to allow your mind to wander down memory lane – take a right to where your partner made you laugh last week, then a left to where they made that awesome dinner, then park up at one of the reasons why you love them…it is hard to stay frustrated when you’re thinking about the wonderful moments you have had – D.P.

For the married couples, what were the things that you learnt about yourselves and each other during your first year? 

For the single peeps, what do you expect to learn in your first year?

I would love to hear from you!

Until Next Time

Dee.x